Michael Bay’s swan song gives big budget action movies a bad name
Through all the “awes” and “ohs” of the audience of my theater, I sat there desperately wanting to pull all my hair off and gouge my eyes out. I felt like the only one not in on this big joke that is called Transformers: The Last Knight. People kept laughing at Michael Bay’s terrible and awkward humor, gasping at the empty action scenes, and loving the very few scenes we got to see the actual Transformers. The point is that if you are a fan of these movies then you’ll apparently love this one but for anyone else, this is just a piece of scrap metal.
Humans and Transformers are at war with each other and Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) has turned to the dark side. Now, It’s up to Cade (Mark Wahlberg), a junkyard inventor, and Vivian (Laura Haddock), a history professor, to uncover the history of the Transformers and save the world from being wiped out.
The opening sequence in Transformers introduces us to our first disjointed storyline and sets the mood for the whole film. The opening Game of Thrones rip off is filled with the big budget action sequences and subplots that will later plague the film. Michael Bay will continue to introduce many other subplots and characters that will ultimately be a waste of time. Most of the time, Bay chooses to indulge in extravagant action scenes that feel empty and without any stakes. While the focus is annoyingly on the characters, there aren’t any emotions attached to them and when they engage in these big action scenes, nothing is derived from them expect loud noise.
Bay’s quick choppy editing and terrible writing don’t conjure up much help. Much of Transformers: The Last Knight is so badly edited that it’s hard to follow some scenes. It feels abrupt and choppy, sometimes even cutting off part of words or phrases. In these situations, it renders any emotions or closeness we are to feel towards these characters. When we do hear a full sentence, the characters are either forced to say something incredibly cringeworthy or something extremely on-the-nose.
The main targets of the bad dialogue are the Transformers themselves. They aren’t given much to do and are barely in the movie but when they are given sometimes to say, the Transformers mumble out stupidly bad punch-lines that are either racist, sexist or just plain stupid. When they are not talking, they are accessories to our boring main characters. They serve to lend a helping hand or advance the plot in some way but never are they actually front and center.
As lazy storytelling goes, Transformers takes the cake. Bay uses convenient and easy ways to advance the story. Whether it is long exposition scenes or unexplained events, Transformers refuses to stall. This becomes apparent during the resolution where all the action serves only to resolve and propel the movie to a somewhat ending. It’s as if Bay wants to finish his last Transformers movie, even if it defies all laws of the universe.
Transformers: The Last Knight is no doubt the worst movie I’ve seen since Grown Up 2. It’s so unintelligent and obnoxious that it should be a crime to watch it. Its awkward humor, boring human characters, and empty action sequences only add to the pain. All in all, Transformers is a critic’s worst nightmare come to life and all I can say is “please, just stop already.”
Transformers: The Last Knight is released on June 23rd.